Snowball Gestapo

       Precisely when, as an adult, did you decide that, spontaneously grabbing a handful of snow, forming it into a snowball and throwing it at something, anything, was strictly for kids? You probably don’t remember. Because it wasn’t a conscious choice.
       Like a lot of the choices we make as we get older, it just happens. One day, we’re happily chucking snowballs. The next, we’re not. Because somewhere deep inside of us, without us even knowing, we’ve made the unconscious decision that such behavior is for people younger. As if there were a Spontaneous Snowball Throwing Cutoff Age. An age at which the Snowball Gestapo, suddenly and without warning, without your awareness of their very existence before now, makes their omnipresence during snowstorms known.
       This is exactly he kind of Adult Group Think that I want us to revisit. To in fact, eliminate.
       As kids, when it snowed, we were overwhelmed with the possibilities that snow created. Sledding. Snowmen. Snow Angels. Snow Shoeing. Snowball Fights. Snow Forts. Dousing snow with food coloring that we stole from mom’s cupboard and writing words with it in the snow that we weren’t allowed to say (one of my favorites). Eating Snow. Making snowballs, storing them in the freezer until the summer, then assaulting our unsuspecting friends with Christmas in July. The possibilities were endless. They still are.
       As adults, the reality of snow grabs us like Sargent Slaughter’s Cobra Clutch and wrings out all the fun. Snow becomes an entirely different phenomenon. It becomes an impediment to our productivity. Another thing we have to “take care of”. Another added responsibility to our ever growing, never ending, list of responsibilities.
       Quite simply, snow goes from something we choose to “Play With” to something we have to “Work At”.
       I get that. But I offer that, as adults, making conscious choices, we can choose to play with snow while acknowledging the added work and responsibility it taxes upon us. Who the fuck says you can’t do both? Who’s “The Man” that dictated that to you? Take care of the stuff you have to, yes. Then go play with the snow. Embrace the possibilities that were so alive in you as a kid. It’s not regression. It’s Revitalization. It’s Rediscovery. It’s digging into yourself, sometimes just a little, and getting to that fun person just underneath the highly responsible one. Integrate the two, instead of dichotomizing them. Embrace the fact that a snowstorm is a beautiful, wondrous, magical spectacle of Mother Nature. Doing so ignites the all too oft forgotten sense of wonder, fascination, and curiosity that were so alive in us as children. By simply choosing to look at a snowstorm this way, we can fire up that neglected framework. Suddenly, the world looks different. Our lives look different. Even just for a little while. Isn’t that worth the stretch?
       I’m learning to do that more and more in my life, so I will continually share my insights and discoveries along my journey. Maybe that will assist you in yours. My challenge is probably the inverse of most. I’m very connected to the kid inside of me. I come from a place of fun and excitement and childlike wonder and fascination easily and naturally. My work is in integrating my responsible, disciplined, and committed to self actualization, adult, into my whole person.
       That adult is alive and well and very active n some areas of my life, like my physical and emotional fitness. I’m practically militant about that, in a good way. In a way that gets results that enriches my quality of life in immeasurable ways. And my kid is alive in that environment as well, because I find great joy and fun in physically exerting myself, sweating, and pushing myself, both physically and emotionally, to higher and deeper levels. I can use that as a model and an example for what I can accomplish when I bring both, full force, into my life.
       As adults, our options for fun in the snow have actually increased. Not too many nine year olds would consider going for a long walk with the opposite sex, coming home, lighting a fire, and doing it on the rug in front of that fire. But adults not only have that, and many other “adult” options open, but we have all the options that were open to us as a kid.; if we allow ourselves that latitude.
       Go buy some food coloring and write a sonnet to your love in the snow, then go show it to her. Nobody stops you from doing anything so outrageous, silly, and nutty, like that but yourself. So let yourself off the fuckin’ hook already.
       It’s snowing, right now, as I write this. How apropos. Gotta go. Enjoy the snow. Did you know? It’s in you, bro?........(and sis).


©2013 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All Rights Reserved.
    
    
   

My Other Half

 

       This is a picture of my twin brother and I on the eve of our 50th birthday. It was taken, by yours truly, in the men’s room of the locally legendary Red Parka Pub, in North Conway, New Hampshire. An appropriate place, to those who know both of us well, for such an intimate moment to be captured. Two intensely intellectual individuals, with highly sophisticated minds and senses of humor, whooping it up and bonding in the seedy bathroom of a ski saloon at our half century mark. Perfect.
       The two of us celebrated our milestone event together, with some of the people we love the most on this planet. Including each other.
       Mike and I share a common, but very different, sort of defiant irreverence. Even though Mike has lead a far more mainstream life, there is a powerful, raging, unconventional river that runs through both of us. Maybe it’s bigger, wider, more pronounced, and more obvious in me. Maybe that radical unconventionality has defined my life more than it has his. But it cascades through his life just as sonically nonetheless, albeit in very different ways.
        We are very different, Mike and I. And we are very much the same. Depending on who you ask, we either look a lot alike or hardly resemble each other at all. We can bring out the best, and the worst, in each other. At times, we are like oil and water. And sometimes, we are like two halves of the same beautiful, unique, madcap coin.
       Our relationship is at once complex and simple. Our love for each other both understated and obvious. Our interests are as different as night and day, but with a huge common intersection that provides us with endless opportunity for discussion, connection, and the sharing of ideas. Our ideologies are in some ways as far apart as the north and south poles, yet still just the other practically mirrored sides of the same earth.
       There was a time in my life when I wouldn’t think of celebrating my birthday without my twin. And there was a time when I couldn’t imagine celebrating my birthday with him.
       I will never again allow anything in my life to get in the way of my relationship with my twin. Although I have always cherished him, I have learned the value of our connection the hard way. Through a process that I can’t even describe or recant at present. It doesn’t matter. As it would be if I were missing a limb, or a lung, or a kidney, or a piece of my soul; My life is somehow incomplete without him.
       I have always wanted something deeper, something bigger, something more, something along the lines of a cosmic connection, with Mike. Maybe I have that but don’t realize it. Maybe I don’t have quite that, and never will. It doesn’t really matter anymore. Because what I have is beautiful. And special. And unique. And precious. And priceless.
       There are about half a dozen people in my life who I would, literally, take a bullet for. Mike is at the top of that very short list.
       I love you Mike. With every fiber of my being. With every drop of blood in my body. With every note of music in my heart. With every ghostly specter of my soul. With every thing I have ever been, everything I am now, and everything I will ever be.......  


©2013 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All Rights Reserved.

Update

I'm skiing in Steamboat, Colorado, and am finding a little time to write, but not much. I will be posting regularly again soon. Peace Out.

WolfHearts

       On this Hallmark Holiday known as Valentine's Day, maybe this poem will inspire some of you lovers out there to be extra loving and tender and understanding with one another. Or maybe it will move somebody to write a poem for their partner. If so, let me know. That would give me a warm fuzzy feeling all over.

WolfHearts

The first time I met you
There occurred a deep sharing
That allowed me to feel
A new sense of daring

In both of our selves
I sensed a deep longing
To connect with another
And create a belonging

We were as lone wolves
Living life on our terms
But we yearned for a pack

Of two hearts
That burned

©2013 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All Rights Reserved.

Innie & Outie

       One of the things that’s been out of balance with me recently is the amount of energy and time I spend going inward versus the amount of energy and time I spend taking outward action. When I spend too much of my juice delving into what’s going on inside of me, I lose perspective, and I become out of sync.
       The myth I have all too often bought into is that the only way to address what’s going on inside of me is to spend time there. In other words, being introspective, inner directed, dissecting my behavior, and working on what’s going on within. I can be guilty of looking too hard and too long on the inside.
       With most people, it’s the opposite. They are constantly in action and don’t spend much time within themselves, looking at what’s going on inside and digging deep, examining their feelings and their behavior. The world is actually built that way. Thus, we are much more likely to be unconscious than conscious. Much more predetermined to look for the answers outside versus inside. Deep self awareness is not highly valued or rewarded, so it’s often looked upon as a frivolous pursuit.
       To be either too outwardly directed or too inwardly directed leads us to down the same parallel path, but in opposite directions. To neglect either leaves us out of sync. With ourselves. With our lives.
       What I’m coming to is the need for balance. For months, I was doing inner work and outer work. I was looking inside and doing outside. I was in action, and I was staying in touch with what was happening inside. Right before Christmas, I started getting away from that. And I started showing up differently in my life. So my life started showing up differently to me. Too much introspection and not enough action. That’s the trap I can fall into.
       When I spend too much time on my insides, my behavior changes, but not for the better. Writing is a great example. Writing is at once an internal journey and an external action. If I spend too much time thinking and digging and feeling and focusing on what’s going on inside, but neglect the action of actually writing, that’s no good. Similarly, if all I do is write, without coming from within, without knowing what’s in my own heart, without being connected to what’s happening inside of me, then my writing isn’t very good. No matter what I’m writing about.
       I can apply this to the rest of my life. The balance of inner work and outer action creates true forward motion. Not only that, but it moves me down a path not possible if I do too much of either. There is no “perfect balance”. But the conscious pursuit of striving for balance is what gets me where I want to go.
       A great analogy is that of an airplane on route to it’s destination. In any one given moment, the airplane may be on or off course. But it’s constantly making little adjustments, so that it’s always moving in the right direction and gets to where it’s supposed to. Compare the computer guidance system of the plane to our insides, and the flight of the plane as human action. One without the other does not lead the plane, or ourselves, where we want to go. A top notch guidance system without a plane doesn’t do much. And a plane without a guidance system ends up flying, yes, but all over the place. People are the same.
       When I am functioning on all cylinders I’m doing both simultaneously, and I’m striking a balance in my life overall. I am connected to my insides and at the same time, taking action. I am involved in conscious action and behavior, versus unconscious action and behavior.
       If I can apply what I know about keeping fit to the rest of my life, I can go anywhere I want. Being fit means taking care of my insides and taking action on the outside. It means proper nutrition, commitment and positive attitude (inner work), and working out diligently and consistently (outer work). If I did one without the other, I would not achieve what I want, which is a body that feels as good as it looks.
       My whole life can be like that if I balance my insides with my outsides.


©2013 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All Rights Reserved.