Living Deep

       When we bring forth that which is deep within us, we profoundly impact not only our lives, but the lives of others. When we access our own unique energy, we uniquely mark lives. We set ourselves apart, but at the same time create the environment for true connection.
       For by sharing our special energy with the world, we invite people in. It’s an honest invitation, a real invitation; not one born out of obligation or some false sense of graciousness. We’re throwing a party of the self and sort of inviting the whole world. Those who choose to enter are entering a naked space of authenticity, a place of truth, of vulnerability; a sacred space. It takes stones to do that. Artists do it all the time. We are all artists. Lots of us just don’t know it yet.
       And, those who enter that sacred space are getting a piece of the real you. A piece of what makes you special, unique, one of a kind. If they enter and connect to that naked expression, then they are saying yes to your sharing. In essence, they are saying yes to You. Or at least, an authentic piece of You, and not to a false self; not to a fabrication of you intended to attract the lowest common denominator. And if you show a piece of the real you and someone connects, they connect with a piece of the real “them”.
       If what’s behind the connection is real, the connection itself is more real. The impact is thus more genuine, stronger, and more powerful. Think of when someone shares a heart felt story about themselves that is honest, vulnerable, deep, and revealing. How much more impact does that have then when someone shares something superficial? When our actions come from that deeper place, when our intentions are to share  something that has true meaning to our hearts, then those actions create the potential for genuine impact, genuine connection. We move and touch people so much more when we come from places deep within us.
       Coming from places deep within us is can be a mind set, or a philosophy of behavior, not just a particular action. What I mean is, when we live from a more authentic place and aren’t so afraid of expressing and sharing who and what we are, we naturally come from a deeper place. That deeper place doesn’t necessarily have to be heavy or soaked with emotional content. When I say “a deeper place”, I’m referring to what is closest and dearest to our hearts, to our core. For example, I am an extremely playful person. My playfulness is not a coping mechanism that I’ve developed to say, ward off intensity. Because I am also a very intense person. But it’s a yin/yang thing, not necessarily an either/or. There is an intensity to my playfulness, and a playfulness to my intensity. Or at least there often is.
       This playfulness shows up when I’m out to dinner; it shows up when I’m looking for something at Home Depot; it shows up in the bedroom with my lover. Because it’s a real part of me, it shows up everywhere. And because it’s a real part of me, it creates the potential for true connection. The people who are attracted to my playfulness are attracted to a genuine part of me, not to a false self. So that attraction is more powerful and real and deep.
       On the flip side, my playfulness pushes some people away. Some judge it to be inappropriate, or silly, or immature. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I can’t connect with those people. But it does mean we first have to find a way to remove that block between us. Sometimes that means a conversation, where we get to know each other better. Maybe that leads to a better understanding of where I’m coming from, and thus more acceptance. And sometimes not. What’s important is that I don’t stop being playful just to please them or get them to like me. The risk of being true to yourself is that some people are truly not going to like, accept, or respect you. You have to roll with that.
       I can tell you from years of experience that being true to yourself is a much more fulfilling place to live from. It creates wonderful, deep connections. It creates more profound impacts on other people’s lives, and on your own. It moves and touches people more powerfully. And it’s a lot more liberating and fun than living from a place where your overriding objective is to constantly please other people. Being true to yourself pleases yourself. And that authenticity will attract the right people into your life.


©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.                
    
     

Magician's "Mistake"

      The flash that went off when I took this picture not only created the dazzling snowflake reflections in the foreground, but it also somehow allowed the rich pink and sepia tones to more vibrantly explode in the background. I saw the illuminated tree, and the spotlight of fuchsia, before I looked through the lens. But I didn’t see it like this.
       The camera did its own thing. It engaged the flash, even though I thought I turned it off, and it interpreted the rest of the scene the way it wanted. So this picture looks something like what my eye saw, but not exactly.
        I didn’t see the stark contrast between the tree and the rest of the environment. When I look at it now, it appears to me that the tree was literally pasted into the scene. Physically pasted. Not digitally. The way we used to do things before Photoshop.
       When I see a scene that strikes me and I take a picture of it, I want it captured the way I see it. So that I can communicate exactly what I see. But what I’m reminded of here is that my desire is just another way of me trying to control something that doesn’t need to be controlled. To control something that really can’t be controlled. What my eye sees and what the camera sees are sometimes very close, sometimes not. Sometimes I’m grateful that the camera caught it as I saw it. Sometimes I’m grateful the camera did its own thing. Like here.
       One of the issues I struggle with is allowing. I often resist, try to control, and put tremendous pressure on myself to be perfect. All in an attempt to make everything come out the way I want it. To make everything come out “perfect”.
       As I write my book, those struggles show up in my face every time I sit down to write. What that looks like is me trying to write the final book before I write any drafts. I’m trying to write the book in my head first, then just spit the final version onto the page. Sometimes I do that with life. Sometimes I try to create my life in my head, “perfectly”, then just spit it into existence. Like I’m some sort of fuckin‘ magician. Like all I have to do is create it in my head first, because my head is so omnipotent, then just wave a wand and, voila! There it is! There’s the book! There’s my life!
       What this picture reminds me of is something I heard in Al-anon years ago: “I’m responsible for the work. Not the results”. Now, that saying is not to be taken out of context. It doesn’t mean that I’m not responsible for creating my life, or that I’m not responsible for my actions. What it means is that I do not have complete control over what ultimately happens as a result of my actions. For example, when I write my book, a book that I love, a book that I’m proud of, I still have no control over how it will be received. I can do everything in my power to make it the best book I can, and I can do everything in my power to promote it and do all the other things that need to be done for a book to be successful. But the actual success of the book, the result of the book, beyond it being actually written, is out of my hands.
       It’s not up to me if you love the book or hate it. It’s up to you. Anymore than it’s up to me whether you love me, or hate me, or are completely indifferent to me. That “result” isn’t up to me. My actions are my responsibility; trying to be the best person I can be. Raising my consciousness. Making mistakes, and making amends. That’s my “work”.
       This post itself is a great example of what I'm ultimately saying. It started off as a picture, with an intention of maybe saying a little something about it, maybe not. But when I started writing, all this other stuff just started coming to me, then coming out of me. The end result of this post is not due to my controlling the flow of my writing so much as it is putting the effort in, and guiding that effort as best I can. Like an energy that is mine, that I can harness, but that I don’t completely control. I can bring the best of myself to each moment, and from that, the energy gets guided, and thus what it produces, gets shaped into something I’m proud of. I don’t so much control the result as I do bring my best to the process and allow other forces that be, forces that I don’t understand, forces that I can’t see but can feel, do what they’re gonna do.
       Geez. Maybe I AM a magician. Maybe we all are.



©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.     

Fuck Normalcy

       Beauty is all around us. No matter where we are, it’s everywhere. If we don’t see it, or hear it, or smell it, or feel it, it’s because we’ve gone numb to it.
       Our personal appreciation for beauty gets drummed out of us, in countless ways, throughout our lives. From the time we’re practically infants, we’re systematically drilled by authority figures, peers, and the media about what’s beautiful, what isn’t, and exactly “how beautiful” something or someone is compared to something or someone else. Those judgements are dictated by powerful and omnipresent cultural norms (“cultural norms”....now there’s an oxymoron, with the emphasis on moron). But those “norms” often have little to do with our own personal experience.  
       And there’s the rub. Because, beauty is not a fuckin’ competition. It’s an experience. And a very personal experience at that. In fact, one of The Most Personal Experiences we have. Just like most else that is deeply personal, however, once it’s expressed, it gets criticized, ridiculed, and possibly even attacked, if it doesn’t conform to accepted norms. It thus gets depersonalized, in a cultural conspiracy to normalize beauty.
       Now, most would agree that the picture I took and posted here depicts a natural scene that is “beautiful”. So, in this case, my personal expression of beauty falls well within culturally accepted constricts of beauty. But that external cultural constrict has absolutely nothing to do with what this picture, or my personal experience of it.
       I felt this picture before I took it. When I walked out of wherever I was at, on my way to wherever I was going, the beauty that I captured in this picture was already there. All I had to be was be open to it. But that phenomenon is not particular to this picture, or this moment, or this anything. That phenomenon is particular to life itself.
       In terms of what’s beautiful, My Personal Experience of Beautiful is all I have to go on. Not only as an artist, but as a human being. Because what’s beautiful to me is so very personal, that if I can’t, or don’t, or won’t, connect to that, then I lose a piece of myself. I lose a piece of what sets me apart as an individual in this overwhelming vast, homogeneous ocean of conformity, acceptance, and.....”normalcy”.
       Across the board, without exception, my personal philosophy is “Fuck Normalcy”. Because, in most cases, it has nothing to do with reality. At least not my reality. Or, and I challenge you on this, maybe yours......  

©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Feels Like The First Time

       I still get excited when it snows. And I still get really excited when it snows a lot. In some ways, whenever it snows, it feels like the first time.
       The most snow I’ve ever experienced happened just last week, in Breckenridge, Colorado. When I got there, they had several feet of coverage all over the place. Plus, they had just received eight fresh inches the night before. It already looked like a winter wonderland. But less than thirty six hours after I arrived, it started snowing again. And it didn’t stop for over forty eight hours. In that time period, we got about three feet.
       To say I was thrilled would be an understatement.
       Snow is still beautiful to me. Still magic. It changes everything. How life looks. How life sounds. How life feels. That to me, is magic.
       Bringing that sense of awe and wonder to much of life is one of the core philosophies of this blog. It’s very child like. Kids bring that kind of energy to lots of things to, but as adults, we tend to lose it. We also lose some of our curiosity, which goes hand in hand with awe, wonder, and excitement.
       As I explore my ability to maintain that energy, and to continually bring it to my life, I will also explore how I can assist others in getting it back and applying it to their lives. Those discoveries will form some of the pieces of my book that I’m writing, out here in Colorado, amidst the snow.

©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Omaha (part 2)

       My buddy Kevin is the Ipso Facto Mayor of Omaha. At least that’s what I call him. He’s owned several businesses in the city, including what used to be the best rock club in town, “Sharky’s”. He was also the PR Director for the baddest local rock radio station; written a book, Conversations With Hunter S. Thompson (Hunter was also his friend); and published his own comedy newspaper, The Great Red Shark, a rag that me and my friend Cusa used to write for. Given his pedigree, it came as absolutely no surprise to me when the two of us wandered into an Omaha bar called Parliament, and Kevin knew the band. Professionally and personally.
       Kevin introduced me to the Spurgeon brothers, who lead one of the hottest cover bands in the midwest, The Confidentials. Highly sought after on the corporate event, wedding, and club circuit, The Confidentials are a slick and powerful ten-piece outfit that play classic funk, disco, Motown, and contemporary R&B hits. I was immediately impressed by them.
       When I met the brothers, we hit it off right away. Steve, who also plays rhythm guitar as well as co-fronting the band with his brother, was even wearing the same belt as I was. No small coincidence. Because this was not your generic run of the mill belt (none of mine are), where your odds of actually bumping into somebody wearing one just like yours are fair. No. This is a rather ostentatious rock n’ roll type of belt, studded with large silver pyramids. You don’t see many dudes wearing one. But Steve was. Just one of many things that jelled that night.
       After a few drinks and some music talk, Steve said “I dig you, Clint! I want you to sit in and play drums with us!”.  I was completely, but very pleasantly, surprised. Being asked to do this, under these circumstances, is rare. At least on the east coast. This dude literally just met me, has never heard me play a note, and he’s asking me to drum for his very tight, very hot band. I’m sure some of it had to do with our mutual friend; Kevin gave me instant credibility. And, some of it had to do with, well, I’ll get to that in a moment. Truly flattered and honored, I thrillingly accepted the chance to jam with these masterful musicians.
       One of the bed rocks of this blog, which reflects one of my core philosophies, is that you show up for life as vibrantly, as expressively, and as authentically as possible. Show more. Hide less. Be you, and be you big. We are all unique, so living like that looks very differently for each of us. But, no matter who you are, when you do that, you will make more of an impact on people, and those who connect to you will connect to you in a powerful way.
       And, you may turn some people off. Because showing up like that isn’t playing it safe. It’s not trying to be liked. It’s turning yourself up, not down. It’s wanting to really touch and connect to those who hear you, see you, and get you. And those who don’t, or won’t, or can’t (and the dynamics of each of those is different, and I’ll write about them some other time) well, thanks anyway. But I’m going to spend my time and energy resonating with those who hear my song, instead of constantly trying to rewrite my music so that more people dig it. I’m not interested in being more popular. I’m interested in being more fully and more vibrantly me.
       When we show up like that, our life happens in a bigger way. In a better way, in a more fulfilling way; with more fun, more passion, more excitement, more meaning, and more emotional richness. From the board room to the bar room, from between the sheets to between the grocery isles, it all gets more colorful. Life gets simultaneously broader, deeper, and richer. It becomes at once more playful and more intense. It expands on the X axis, the Y axis, and the Z axis. Like getting more horsepower, better gas milage, and cleaner emissions, all from the same gas.
       I’m far from perfect at it, but I try and live this way. On this particular night, by showing up loud and clear, I connected with a stranger. I earned the opportunity to play with a totally killer band. I created the chance for something great to happen. And it did.
       Please stay with me for part three.


©2014 Clint Piatelli. MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.