Clinterview: Man Vs. Emotion (part 2)

Part two in this video series on male emotions. To see Part 1, click here.

The Challenge of Showing Up

       Over the last few weeks, my writing has taken a back seat. It happens. Especially this time of year. But today I’ve challenged myself. And I’m letting you in on that challenge. It’s now 8:05 AM, Eastern Standard Time. I’m giving myself one hour to write something from scratch and post it. And I’ve already decided that I will like what I write. Working from the end, as it were.
       Let me share something I’ve completely taken to heart over the last few month: How I show up for life is how life shows up for me. Now I’ve known that for a long time. But I’ve known it in my head. Not in my heart. I thought it, but I never felt it.
       And when I say how “life shows up for me”, what I really mean is how people show up for me.
       I don’t have any control over how people show up in my life. But I do have an impact. In fact, I have more of an impact than I ever realized. That’s not unique to me. We all have that impact. However, I do know that, because I’m a strong personality, and because it is my intention to move people, to make a difference, to matter, I have the potential to have a substantial impact.
       It’s almost a responsibility of self expression to understand that through that expressiveness, we make a difference in people’s lives. For me, that means being very mindful of how I show up. It means being committed to showing up fully, lovingly, passionately, powerfully, respectfully, in every moment. I don’t always succeed. It’s a practice, not a perfection. And I’m committed to the practice. Like I’m committed to working out and taking care of my mind, body, heart, and spirit.
       Since I’ve been showing up differently in my life, the people in my life have been showing up differently. When I’m loving, happy, passionate, understanding, compassionate, powerful, then the people in my life show up that way too. Or, at least I create the possibility for them to show up that way. Because if I don’t show up that way, then, over the long term, neither will they. That’s what I really get.
       Over the past few months, I reconciled with my family. I’ve reconnected with some people that mean a great deal to me. That’s no coincidence. In fact, it would not have been possible if I didn’t start showing up differently.
       I first had to create the space for something new to happen. I had to create the possibility for some new relationship to develop. If some old relationships weren’t working, and some of them definitely were not, then the only chance for a new loving relationship was if I showed up lovingly. As I’ve said, I knew that in my head, but not in my heart. And if I didn’t know that in my heart, then I had no chance of living it.
       An element of the human condition is to constantly create the possibility that something is wrong. With ourselves. With our relationships. With our jobs and with our work. With our lives. We are conditioned for that from a very early age. I know I was. We are great at looking for problems. But if we look for problems, we are going to find them. Guaranteed. If we listen for what’s wrong, we will hear the song of what isn’t working. So I listen for something else. I listen for what’s great. I listen for what’s working.  I can’t always hear it, but I keep listening. And eventually, I hear that song. And it’s beautiful music.
       This isn't to say that I deny or ignore what’s not working in my life. But it does mean that  I don’t come from what’s not working. I don’t come from what I’m not. I come from what I am. I come from who I am. I come from who I want to be. Even if I’m not being that person every moment. I keep coming from there. And the more I do that, the more I practice that, the more often I am that. The more often I get to be that.  
       Okay. It’s been an hour. Peace Out.
   

Clinterview: Man Vs. Emotion (part 1)

        A few years ago, a woman named Ginny Judge Horan, an Associate Professor of Communications at Suffolk Community College in New York, interviewed me, and videotaped the interview. She used the video as a tool in the class she taught titled Interpersonal Communications.
       The interview was designed to help students understand the dynamics of emotions in men. It also raised awareness on how men are conditioned to shut down their feelings, starting in boyhood, and continuing throughout adulthood.
       From the feedback Ginny and I received, the video had an impact on her students. They said they were now more educated about how men deal, or don’t deal, with how they feel. Some of them reported applying that education to their relationships, and how that assisted in communication and understanding between themselves and their partner. We were both thrilled that our efforts made a difference to people. Ginny has since shown the video to many of her classes.
       I’m presenting the interview in short three minute clips over the next few weeks. Please stay tuned.

©2012 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All Rights Reserved.

My First Your Birthday Without You

My day began with tears
Thinking of you
My first
Your Birthday
Without you

We always spoke today
No matter what
And after dad died
On this day
We always spent time together

Who will I speak to today Ma?
Who will I spend time with?

Today
Your birthday
I will speak with people I love
I will spend time with people I love
You know these people Ma
You loved them
You often told me so

So
I honor you Ma
And I continue to love you
By loving those
Whom you loved
And who loved you

                                              Your Grateful and Loving Son
                                              John Francis Anthony Piatelli

Angelina Rose Piatelli. Born December 14, 1920

The Blizzard of Two Thousand Five

       The Historic Nor'easter Blizzard of 2005, which started on Cape Cod at approximately 5 pm on Saturday, January 22 and continued until late Sunday afternoon, reigns as my favorite snow weekend of all time.
       I was living in North Falmouth at the time. My girlfriend and I were actually skiing up in North Conway, New Hampshire the Friday before the storm. It was a stupendous day of skiing. The positively brutal cold kept virtually everyone except us off the mountain. The snow was plentiful, hard, and fast. Just how I like it. The sky was sunny and cloudless, providing stunning vistas with unlimited visibility.
       Tracking the storm throughout the week, I watched the weather forecast for Cape Cod very closely whilst we were in New Hampshire. When the prediction was for an epic Nor'easter, we packed up and actually headed home a day early. We left lots of snow to experience the possibility of titanic amounts of snow; the true sign of a snow junkie.
       On the way from New Hampshire, we stopped at a supermarket to grab some supplies, listening to the forecast all the way home. With each passing hour, the certainty of a positively crippling snowstorm grew. I could barely contain my enthusiasm. On our way home, we picked up her two wonderful kids from the grandparents, so they were in the car with us. I think I was even more excited than they were about the oncoming fluffy white assault. No shock there I suppose.
       Coming out of the supermarket, I remember walking to the car carrying a few bags of food, when I saw and felt the very first flakes start to fall. It was one of those crystalline moments that signify the very beginning of something really significant; kind of like that very first moment you are ever inside of a woman, or that very first moment a man is inside of you. Actually, my snow moment is far more memorable than my first second of losing my virginity. That whole experience is pretty much a blur. This experience was anything but that. I can still see the picture of that moment in my mind’s eye as though it were yesterday. I can re-experience the positively euphoric feeling of joy and wonder and anticipation just by thinking about it.
       More about this weekend in following posts. I’ll also be posting some pictures of the weekend as well, of which I took hundreds. Here’s one of them, taken at Sunday around 1 pm, towards the end of the storm.

©2012 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All Rights Reserved.