Glass Buffet

        Over the past few weeks, I’ve been at two separate social occasions that included two separate ex-girlfriends. I knew that they would be there, and I was actually looking forward to their presence. My interaction with both of them was absolutely minimal, and comfortable, at least for me. As I suspected, however, seeing them stirred up some stuff.
        Like the process of tilling soil, it’s not the act itself that becomes relevant, but what the act brings up; the impact of the action is where my life gets lived going forward. But only if I tend to what has been stirred. If I ignore it, or deny it, or minimize it, I miss whatever lesson is there for me. If I ignore the soil that has been uprooted and ready for new growth, then nothing new will happen. If I forget about the soil, and neglect it afterwards, then whatever was there before will just reassert itself there once again. Nothing new will grow.
        My emotional, psychological, and psycho-emotional fields inside me are no different. If something has been moved, for whatever reason, I have the opportunity to grow something anew, but only if I do something with it. Only if I look at what’s been moved and use it to create something I want.
        By all accounts, I am the healthiest I have ever been in my life. Emotionally, I am in a better space than possibly any other time. My heart is open and I’m feeling so much these days. I’m not only out of depression, but generally happier than I’ve been in years. Physically, I’m more fit than I’ve ever been. I’m ripped and shredded like a UFC fighter. I don’t say this to blow my own horn (well, maybe just a little), but to illustrate an important point. All of this means nothing if I can’t love myself. If I can not truly receive the love of those around me; if I can not own my own power and specialness as a person; if I can not embrace and hold myself like a loving father would his own child; If I can not truly accept the simple compliments I receive, then I can not step into the space that I have worked so hard to create for myself. Without a healthy dose of self love, it’s like I’m standing outside of a restaurant made of glass looking at the most magnificent buffet I could imagine, but unable to eat it. Unable to taste it. Unable to enjoy it.
        So where does this lead me now? Please join me tomorrow when I’ll share my latest self exploration.

©2009 Clint Piatelli. All Rights (and a giant tilled field of Wrongs) Reserved.