Private Dance

       While on my way to my favorite coffee shop on Cape Cod, I heard the song “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees. Like so much of the music I love, it made me want to dance. Dancing, however, wasn’t possible. Not because I was in my car. But because I was driving. So I did the next best thing; I sang, bopped my head, swiveled my hips in the leather seat, and played air drums, air bass, and air guitar. Maybe even some air keyboards. One of my Bottom Lines is that it’s possible to get your groove thang happenin’, no matter what your circumstances.
       Anyway, the classic seventies disco anthem reminded me of an idea I’ve had for a long time, but have yet to realize. I love this idea. It’s simple yet elaborate. Silly yet beautiful. Fun yet intense.
       Many of us love to dance. Yet many are self conscious of dancing in public. Alcohol helps. But sometimes even that’s not enough. If you’re with a partner you find sexy and attractive and fun (and frankly, if you don’t find your partner at least two out of those three, do both yourselves a favor and go find one you do, because you both deserve to be with somebody you find appealing), dancing together can be an amazing mutual experience. It’s exercise. It’s playful. It's joyous. It’s sexy. It can be hours of foreplay. It’s simply too good not to enjoy with the one you love. Or even the one you like.
       I am blessed with good rhythm. And I would describe myself as.....uninhibited. If you haven’t developed a good sense of rhythm and are somewhat inhibited, well dancing in front of a bunch of people can be intimidating. And not very inviting. So as much as it may be something you want to do with your partner, doing it under those circumstances is unlikely. And I completely understand that.
       So, if you can’t bring yourself to the dancing, then bring the dancing to you.
       Create your own disco, just for you and your partner, within your own home, and dance there. If you want to make it a little more social, invite a few couples who you’re really comfortable being with over too.
       Creating your own disco is easy, but there are a few essentials that must be in place for it to succeed. And, given your motivation and the space you have to work with, you can really go to town, to varying degrees, and make this into something really special. Something the two of you will want to create regularly. Potentially an Instant Couples Ritual, or ICR, as I call them. Actually, that’s the first time I ever used the term. But I really like it. So I’m claiming it.
       The first thing you need for a great disco is great music. And “great music” is a completely relative term. You and your partner get to mutually choose what music you want to dance to together. The creation of the set list should be a fun, bonding experience. It can, however, be a source of contention if the two of you have completely incompatible tastes in music. But it’s all good. Because whether you’re both into P-Funk, or he’s a member of The Kiss Army and the most raucous music you’ve ever listened to is Debbie Gibson, it’s an opportunity to practice communication and compromise skills. It’s an opportunity to give to one another. To find out more about each other. An opportunity to work together. Relationship Building 101.
       Sit down, together, with your respective digital music devices, or album collections if your old school, and together create a list of tunes to dance to. Do it over a bottle of wine some night. Make it fun. Make it an opportunity to connect. Make it an opportunity to work things out; to love and support and respect each other. Make it a living example of the axiom “It’s no so much what you do as how you do it”.
       Now you get to create your space. You get to create your disco. This process. and the actual space you create from it, can be simple, or elaborate, or anything in between. It’s totally up to the two of you. You can do it together, or you can delegate it to one partner. Again, use it as an opportunity to work together, however that looks. You’re both building something. Build this wonderful “something” together. And notice how this process simultaneously builds the bond between you. And that’s a beautiful thing.
       No matter what space you create, there are some critical elements that must be in place, besides the mutually created music list. And I’ll delve into those critical elements in my next post.
       One of things you’re building together is anticipation and excitement. Hopefully, I’ve done my job as a writer and created some anticipation and excitement (and curiosity) in you so you’ll tune in for the next installment. Stay Alive.....

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