The First 48

       If my first few minutes at Kripalu could be described as “extremely memorable” (as they were in my first post about my experience there, A Virgin Of Kripalu), then my first few days there could be described as “extremely uncomfortable”. And that’s being kind. Absolutely internally tumultuous is more like it.
       I came there to plug into a different energy source; to go inside and reconnect to something deeper; to recharge my spiritual batteries; to get back in touch with what was happening in my body and in my heart; and to quiet my very active mind. In essence, I came there to feel good. So why, after less than forty eight hours there, did I feel like shit?
       As our instructor put it, and I’m paraphrasing, “When you truly set an intention to be something, then slow down and quiet your distractions and really pay attention, you will see, in sharp detail, what’s not something. So if your intention is to be happy, you will see, in 3D, where you are not happy.” Which is probably why most people don’t do this stuff. Because when you experience that, it’s painful. And depressing. And difficult. And not what I bloody signed up for.
       I had originally signed up for a course called “Whole Being”. But after two sessions, by late Monday morning, something didn’t feel right. This course was interesting, but I noticed that I was anxious, having trouble focusing, and felt I was in the wrong place. Was this just my over-analytical, critical mind working overtime? Or was my body trying to tell me something?
       On my way to lunch that Monday, I walked right by the room where another course I had considered taking was being held. A course called “Still Small Voice Within”, which was about meditation, focusing, and developing intuition. It was actually the second time I had walked right by that room. The first time, the night before, I looked inside and felt something special going on. There was an energy coming from the circle of people gathered around the instructor. It looked and felt like powerful medicine was happening there. Now, the second time I walked by, the room was empty, save for the instructor. So I took a chance, walked up to him, introduced myself, and asked him what the course was about.
       He started to tell me, and within less than thirty seconds, I knew this was where I belonged. I felt it inside. Plus, the guy had a presence, an energy, a way of being, that I wanted more of. So I asked him if I could join the class after missing the first two sessions. He said yes. I felt something settle inside of me. I felt like I had just landed where I belonged. Then I went to the front desk and took the necessary steps to make my switch “official”.
       By the way, the instructor I had just connected with was a guy named Jonathan Foust. I called hime “Michael” for the first three or four times we interacted. He never corrected me, which itself tells me about the ease of being this man has. Later, I figured out why I thought his name was Michael. Weeks ago, when I was planning my trip, I considered taking his course. There was a picture of him online in the course description. He reminded me of Michael Schenker, one of the original guitar players for The Scorpions, and leader of The Michael Schenker group. So my mind made that connection, and he became, unconsciously, “Michael” to me, even though his name was clearly printed under his picture. A good little example of how our mind can screw things up.
       So now, I’m in the place I chose to be in, in the course I need to be in, with the people I need to be with. And I’m all out of sorts, with my insides doing cartwheels. What the fuck?
       Please stay with me as I take us deeper into my experience at Kripalu.

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