Fifty Fuckin' One

       Turned fifty-one the other day. Or as a friend would say, “Fifty-Wonderful”. Or, as I would say, “Fifty-Fuckin’-One”. Not because I’m upset about being that age. I just like the way it sounds. Like great rock lyrics, the phrase doesn’t necessarily have to make sense. It just has to sizzle and pop and have attitude. Like “Fifty Fuckin‘ One”.
       I suppose a lot of my life, on one level, could be metaphoric to great rock lyrics. To many, painting my house purple, or sponge painting my car once the book value was practically nill, or starting a very revealing blog at forty-five, didn’t make any sense. But it all made sense to me. And by “sense” I mean that those actions simply worked for me. They helped my life sizzle and pop. Those actions just completely and harmonically resonated with me.
       What I did on my fifty-first birthday made sense to me as well. I had breakfast with a friend, ate really clean all day, worked out when I checked into my hotel at night, and got to bed early. Here I am the next morning, writing before I ski all day.
       The art of our life is ours to create. How can each of us bring more of ourselves to our lives? How can we infuse more of our actions with more of our essence? How can we bring more creativity, more vibrancy, more expression, more artistic sensibility to our lives? That’s a question I want us to answer together. I know how to do that pretty well, but I’m always learning more, always digging deeper, always looking to bring more and more of that to my life. As I do that, I want to assist others in doing the same. I know I can do that. The book I’m writing on this skibatical speaks to all of that.  
       When I play the drums, if I’m playing well, if I’m helping the band sound like we’re on fire and we’re moving people, it’s not because I’m playing with better technique. It’s because I’m bringing more of what makes me ME to my playing. It’s because I’m bringing more of my self, more of my essence, to my playing. That great amalgamation of tangibles and intangibles that make me who I am; my personality, attitude, perspective, mind, energy, the way I hear a song, and the big one, My Heart - when I bring more of all that to my playing, well, things cook. And, lo and behold, when I do that, as a consequence, I find my technique is better, that my chops are at the top of my game. Because of all that essence is chock full of fluidity and playfulness and presence. All of which is essential to execution, which is the bedrock of better technique and solid chops.
       When it comes to drumming, I’m at my best when I bring a Barely Controlled Reckless Abandonment to my playing. Come to think of it, I’m at my best when I bring that energy to the bedroom as well. In fact, I could say the same thing about most of my creative pursuits. Maybe to most of life.
       Despite what it sounds like, a Barely Controlled Reckless Abandonment (B.C.R.A.) is neither close to being out of control nor truly reckless. But it’s not on a leash either. It’s an energy, an attitude, that’s harnessed but not necessarily confined by distinct boundaries; because if you harness it properly, it finds its own limits, pushes its own envelope. It essentially governs itself. You have to trust that. You have to trust your own energy. You create this energy as you bring forth what’s best in you, what’s most alive in you, what’s in your heart and at your core, and then you release it. And then you trust it. You flow with it. If you stay in the flow, this energy doesn’t get out of control, nor does it wreak havoc. In other words, it doesn’t become counter productive to your pursuits. It drives and enhances self expression, creativity, love.
       Usually, it’s hard for us to let go that much. It’s hard for us to trust ourselves, to trust our essential energy, to trust our power, that much. The result is that often, that power isn’t coming from very deep within us. Instead, we ride this superficial energy that doesn’t spring from the very depths of who we are. It springs from what we think people want to see, or from who we think we should be. It’s a safer version of our true energy, a watered down version, a more acceptable incarnation. Basically, it’s more user friendly to the rest of the planet, but it’s less user friendly to you, to the one creating it. It’s thus less authentic. And thus it usually doesn’t unleash what we’re really all about.
       This year, I will bring more of that B.C.R.A. to my life. And I will assist others in doing so as well. For that has all the markings of a more meaningful, more fulfilling, and more eventful life. A life richer not only in breadth, but depth. That’s what it means to me to be Fifty Fucking One.



©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.