The Other Side of Fever

       A few nights ago, I broke a fever several hours after going to bed with a sore throat, body aches, and a stuffy nose. The night was cool for late July, edging towards cold, as I started getting the chills just before climbing under the covers.
       In the middle of the night, I woke up freezing. Grabbing the remaining blanket and putting on a long sleeve jersey over my tee shirt, I literally crawled back into bed and started shaking. Popping my last few ibuprofens, I didn’t so much drift off to sleep as crash. Well, I tried anyway. I’m not sure how long I lay awake, shuddering with the chills.
       These were my last few days and nights at The Omega Institute. Being here for a magical month, I wanted to go out with a bang, but it was looking and feeling more like it would be a whimper. My mind was now aching as much as, if not more than, my body. What if I feel this shitty the rest of the week? What if I have to spend my last few precious days here holed up in bed? Jesus, that would suck ass. I started obsessing about that very possibility, which certainly wasn’t helping me fall asleep. Before I had a chance to completely turn over to the dark side, however, I mercifully fell to sleep.
       Waking up a few hours later, in damp clothes and damp sheets, with the last remnants of sweat still glistening off my forehead, I could tell I had come to the other side of something. But what? This physical manifestation of fever, soreness, and chills signified the welling up and letting go of something inside of me besides some sort of bug. I was, after all, in a truly magical place; Omega is a vortex of higher consciousness and personal transformation. I had been here for over three weeks and had completely immersed myself in the process.
       I’m often looking for some sort of physical “proof” that something inside of me has shifted, and the body can serve as the ultimate proof being in the pudding. It’s all connected: body, mind, heart, and spirit. If it shows up in one place, it somehow, someway, shows up in all the others. Sometimes subtly, and sometimes like a sledgehammer. Well, this constituted a sledgehammer.
       Exactly what has moved through me will make itself clearer in the upcoming days, weeks, or months. I’ve been gradually letting go of some old baggage for months now; for years if I dig even deeper. I’ve also been opening myself up to how my already blessed and beautiful life could be even bigger, better, more fulfilling, more meaningful, and more enriching. One question that I’m asking and answering piece by piece is “What do I have to give that can truly make a difference in people’s lives?”
       This month at Omega has been another big step down my path. A path that twists and turns and never ceases to amaze me, to wow me. I’m not looking behind so much anymore as I am saturating myself in the moment, as best I can (though that still proves challenging). I’m gazing at a future that’s opening up to vistas I’m only starting to embrace as truly possible.
       More importantly, I see and feel the path I’m on more clearly, more viscerally, than ever before. I have more support, both internally and externally, than at any other time in my life.


©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.