Larry's Rhythm Wallet

I wrote this at a writing workshop at Omega this summer. The exercise was to tell a story, about a wallet, using nothing but dialogue. It was quite challenging for me, because I had never written dialogue before. The format is that of a screenplay, where the character's name appears over his or her dialogue, which isn't in quotations.

                       BANG

Hey man, can I borrow your wallet?
                    
                        LARRY
Excuse me?

                        BANG
Can I borrow your wallet? You can take everything out if it. I just want to borrow the wallet itself.

                        LARRY
What for?

                        BANG
Well I’m recording a rhythm pattern over there on my laptop, and I need to hit something else to create another tone. When I hit the wooden table with my drum sticks, it gives me the chick sound. Hitting the wallet will give me the boom sound. Ya know, “Boom/Chick, Boom/Boom/Chick".......

                       LARRY

Yes, I get it. But that’s…….ridiculous. I’m not lending you my wallet to record drum sounds.

                        BANG
C’mon man. I’m really onto something here. I’ll even give you a writing credit when the song gets made.

                        LARRY
Yeah. That’s a real incentive.

                        BANG
I’m serious, bro. What’s your name?

                        LARRY
Is this some sort of a scam? Because this sounds like some sort of a scam.

                        BANG
No man, no scam. I’ll sign something right now that gives you a writing credit for this song. Draw some agreement up on a napkin or something and I’ll put my John Hancock on it. Movie deals have been made over those kind of arrangements. Remember the film The French Connection?

                        LARRY
Yeah.

                        BANG
Well a dude made a boat old of money off that film ‘cuz he had a napkin signed by the producer, Phil Dantoni. Look it up. True story.

                        LARRY
Really? I love that movie. But look, this still seems weird. I’m sorry. Plus, I’m an attorney. It would look bad if I signed a legal agreement on a napkin.

                        BANG
Well I can dig that. My lawyer would probably freak out if he were asked to sign a napkin too.

                        LARRY
Who’s your lawyer?

                        BANG
Teddy Hack.

                        LARRY
Teddy Hack? From Hack, Ream & Shyster? The entertainment firm?

                          BANG
Roger that, Perry Mason.

                        LARRY
Are you in a band?

                        BANG
Bingo.

                        LARRY
Anybody I might know?

                        BANG
Maybe. Ever heard of "Mind Crisis"?

                        LARRY
Mind Crisis? You’re in Mind Crisis? So you’re the drummer, Bang? Formerly known as Stan Kablonski?

                        BANG
Bingo again, man.

                        LARRY
I love you guys! I didn’t recognize you without the long hair and the fu manchu mustache.

                        BANG
Cancer treatment will take away the hair, and I didn’t like the evil mad scientist look, so I shaved off the ‘stache.

                        LARRY
You’ve got cancer? I’m sorry to hear that. That hasn’t been in any of the music rags or trades.

                        BANG
I’ve kept it quiet. Don’t want my folks to know. Maybe after I beat it, I’ll tell them.

                        LARRY
Well I would be happy to lend you my wallet for your rhythm track. In fact, you can keep it. I hate that fuckin’ wallet anyway. My mother in law gave it to me.

                        BANG
Far out man. I’ll name the song…..what’s your name?

                        LARRY
Larry. Larry Van Pulin.

                        BANG
I’ll name the song "Larry’s Rhythm Wallet". How’s that?

                        LARRY
That's great! Thank you! This is too good to be true.

                        BANG
No man. I’ll tell you what’s too good to be true. Staying alive through this awful disease to be able to make music for people like you.

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